14 things that only make sense in a fell race

Planning for the races I’m up to this week got me thinking about all the weird stuff we do at fell races, stuff that we wouldn’t dream of doing anywhere else in our daily lives or things that wouldn’t really make sense to pavement dwellers (non-fell running folk to you and I).  Some of these are pretty grim but us stalwarts run on regardless;

1. Driving 50 miles for a 6 mile race, and then back again
2. You run up the hill just to run back down the other side
3. Swallowing flies, with a cough and a splutter we gulp them down and bravely think of the extra energy
4. Running straight through the middle of mud/puddles/bogs/cowpats/manure instead of tiptoeing the long way around, but hey, that wastes valuable seconds
5. Not always stopping to tie up shoe laces, well who wants to be overtaken a mile from the finish?
6. Peeing behind any bush/tree/wall/fence/car/friend tall enough to hide you, come on we’ve all done it
7. Breaking wind in public suddenly becomes socially acceptable
8. Carrying on regardless of the torrential downpour or scorching heat, it’s all in the preparation people
9. Asking complete strangers all about their swishy new trainers or fancy watch is perfectly fine and they never misconstrue that you are trying to mug them
10. Wearing short shorts is the norm, little did Ron Hill know that Kylie Minogue would be stealing his style ideas
11. Taped nipples, well it’s hardly a fashion statement
12. Stripping off to your under-crackers in a car park after a race, take away the other runners and you’ve got yourself a criminal record
13. Sitting in a pub or café covered in dirt and smelling “fragrant” is fine, on race day every other person in there is in the same state anyway
14. Eating that whole packet of biscuits when you get home is valid, well just think of all those calories you need to replace

Does anyone have anymore to add to the list?  Happy running x