13 things fell runners say at races versus what they actually mean….

I have seen a few of these lists in the past, but mostly aimed at road runners so I had a think and came up with a few of my own! How many of these can you relate to?

1. I am not here to race, just to get around

Means – I am not only going to smash my PB but yours too whilst I’m at it

2. I struggled a bit on that final hill

Means – I wanted to lie down and die right there on the path

3. I walked a couple of times

Means – I may as well have got out the picnic blanket and pork pies

4. I am not really that competitive

Means – If you beat me on a strava segment we can no longer be friends

5. There are only a couple of big climbs on this race that I can remember

Means – there were so many uphills it felt like I never actually descended and was running up one of those mind-bending Escher staircases for 5 miles

6. I’m trying this new “eat clean” thing

Means – I only had 1 pint after the race instead of 2 and bought mini fish and chips on the way home instead of extra-large with added mushy peas for the vitamins

7. I am never doing that race again

Means – I have to beat my time on that race next year

8. I was told not to run because I am injured

Means – I will finish this race if it kills me and then do another one tomorrow

9. It’s raining? That’s fine it’ll keep me cool during the race

Means – Why am I here when I could be at home drinking wine and watching Come Dine With Me?

10. I don’t really train that much

Means – I run every day with extra hill/sprint/fartlek/interval/speed/conditioning sessions on top

11. Well raced, there was no way I could catch up with you

Means – I hate you and hope you twist your ankle

12. Running is so great and cheap, no expensive gym membership each month for me!

Means – I spend the majority of my spare time researching the latest running gear and more of my income than I care to disclose on running shoes/kit/magazines/races/food